‘I murdered myself’ Sarah Ferguson reveals self-loathing after marriage ended with Andrew
SARAH Ferguson has revealed after her split from Prince Andrew she hit rock-bottom and experienced deep levels of self-hatred.
In her first interview in the US in seven years the Duchess of York told a Modern Hero reporter she blamed herself for the split. The Duchess – who affectionately goes by the nickname Fergie – said: ”It was rock bottom, I had completely and utterly destroyed myself. I murdered myself. ”I must have brought that on for myself mustn’t I?
“Because thats how I felt about myself. Self-hatred at its height.”
Shortly after their marriage in 1986 Prince Andrew left for sea as part of his naval duties, which the Duchess said was “really really difficult” and “played into my abandonment.”
Sarah said: ”We both agreed we didn’t fight hard enough to keep it together.
The pair share currently a home at the Royal Lodge and remain close friends.
“Now our life together is the greatest ever, it’s so hard to comprehend because we are not normal,” she said. “This is our fairytale and we are telling it our way.”
In her interview, the Duchess spoke about her struggles after her mother left her when she was 12 and how she turned to food trying to fix the hole in her heart.
The Duchess added: ”I built a huge wall to the real Sarah and I believed it was because I was worthless.
“Why would you leave your child, you wouldn’t, so it must be me that was wrong.
“I was a compulsive eater from the age of 12 trying to find the fix to comfort the hole in my heart.”
Sarah revealed it was her children Eugenie and Beatrice that helped get her through the time of struggle.
The Duchess said: ”Beatrice calls me the most misunderstood woman in the world.
”She is the finest example of understanding and learning about how to deal with life’s challenges.
“Eugenie dares to be different she dares to dream, dares to explore new ideas and new ventures.”
She said it took a lot of spiritual work and mistakes to break through her ego.
She said: ”I think that I lived in my ego for a very long time, so sad.”
At the end of the interview the Duchess was asked if she is the mother that she would have wanted, and she replied “100 percent I am the mother that I always wanted.”
Source: EXPRESS CO UK