Writing in the New York Times, Meghan said: “It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib.
“After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.
“I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
“Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.”
She added: “I recalled a moment last year when Harry and I were finishing up a long tour in South Africa. I was exhausted. I was breastfeeding our infant son, and I was trying to keep a brave face in the very public eye.
“‘Are you OK?’ a journalist asked me. I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering.
“My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn’t responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.
“‘Thank you for asking,’ I said. ‘Not many people have asked if I’m OK.’
“Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, ‘Are you OK?’”
Meghan Markle miscarriage: She was holding her son Archie when she realised she was losing her unborn child
The article, which described Meghan as a mother, feminist and advocate. goes on to talk about some of the horrors of 2020 – from a woman losing her mother to COVID-19, to the deaths of Breonna Taylor and George Flloyd.
Meghan recalls a time when she was in her late teens and was in a taxi in Mahatten when she saw a woman crying.
She asks the taxi driver to stop to see if she’s okay, but he tells her: “Don’t worry, somebody on that corner will ask her if she’s OK.”
The Duchess goes on to say she regrets not stopping to ask “are you okay?” and urges people to make a commitment to checking in on others, especially during such tough times as the world is experiencing right now.
She adds: “Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.
“In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage.
“Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.
“Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same.
“We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.”
The Duchess of Sussex gave a brave account of her heartbreak and received praise for speaking out and highlighting that miscarriages are a lot more common than people think.
Journalist Anita Singh wrote on Twitter: “When I had a miscarriage, I remember scouring the internet for articles by women who had been through the same thing. Because reading that you’re not alone is helpful and it’s comforting. So thank you to Meghan Markle for writing about something so difficult.”
Another social media user wrote: “A very private grief, which many – including me – understand all too well. Not many relationships survive it unscathed – and I hope theirs does. Best wishes to them both.”
A third said: “I’m really happy women are speaking on miscarriages, especially women with a platform. Chrissy did it, now Meghan. Takes courage, cuz only they really know that pain.”
One added: “Miscarriage and grief is still pretty much a taboo. Her opening up helps others to heal and to remove the stigma.”
The NHS estimates one in every eight pregnancies will end in miscarriage but even more occur before the women even realises she’s pregnant.
Going through a miscarriage can be an emotionally and physically draining experience, and can cause shock, anger and feelings of guilt.
The NHS advises that help and support is available from hospital counselling services and charity groups.
If you’ve been affected by this story, you can talk to a Tommy’s midwife for free, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm – with by phone on 0800 0147 800 or email email@example.com.
Source: EXPRESS CO UK